Know your move

ONE of the hardest time during meditation for me is a meal time. As a yawgi, we are supposed to know our mind at all time. We cannot move without knowing it. Every effort will have to be known and it is called meditation as well. The hosts speaker would remind us not to eat carelessly. As all the meals and drinks are donated by donors, we have to keep our main mission in mind. The donors are donating not because of personal admire but because of dhamma good deeds we all are trying to practice, at least for a certain period. Hence, if we are not trying to maintain such high achievement, it will become debt to us and we have to repay donors by another life. It is really frighten to me. Sometime even feel don't want to eat anymore. Other time, my fingers carrying foods in spoon stop half way. There is also one poem we are supposed to read just before eating. It's meaning is

we do not eat for happiness
we do not eat for laugh
we do not eat for proud
we do not eat for beauty
we do not eat for fat

we do eat for live to practice meditation
we do eat not to cause us old and new wounds so that we could able to follow dhamma

Sayadaw will remind us to know every move, want to take curry, hand move to take it, then bring back to mouth, then chewing, after that grinding, and finally swallowing. Every step must be known in order to kill our greedy mind. The mind has a thousand eyes and it is again easier said than done. Some seem quick eaters than they are supposed to behave. Some eat generate sound. Some movement not wise enough. Eyes and movement meet, Seeing become. If our mind know I see, It appear and disappear, it is also meditation. It is up to our mind if we are doing meditation or doing other cause. Every single time, we are doing good or bad, no middle thing. You do good or bad at one time. Hence, we have to sure our mind is under control. Otherwise the mission will not be met its purpose. From meal time, I gained how to kill our greedy mind which I cannot learn in our school or university.