A stay-away dad's feeling

I BELIEVE EVERYBODY has come across their own emotional moment in their past life. It may probably be different story to different people. Since I am also human being and of course I had come across a lot emotional events regarding to my education, health, work, religious, political and surviving in a new place, etc. Among all of above, the moment that can touch me so much was coincidence with the arrival of my biological daughter. She is tiny in size but can influence on her parent's feeling.

Unfortunately I am out of my country by the time my wife gave birth to our very first child in my home town private hospital. But circumstance required me to stay away from that breaking event that can convert my couple life to family life. My wife delivered 8 days earlier than designated date set by our consultant doctor. Luckily, my eldest sister could able to cope with the unexpected changes to maintain everything is in order. My sister had taken care me not only an elder sister but a mother. So she loved me unconditionally and treated my wife and daughter as her daughter-in-law and grand daughter-in-law as our parent passed away since I was a school boy.

I was needed to call and ask my sister to know updated information by time. I was of course wanted to see my daughter but no point to do so as the infant is not suitable to be taken photo at the early stage. 3 days after delivery, as usual, I called to my wife at night and I heard the sound of my daughter. I was so emotion to hear the voice of my daughter through hand phone. I felt nervous and enjoy to learn this is my child's sound. She was crying by the time I call my wife. Previous day she is always sleeping when I call. As the child consultant suggest, all infant must sleep 20 hours a day and I'm relax to know that my baby is sleeping soundly.

At one occasion, my wife even tried to make my daughter to cry so that I can hear the sound. But I didn't agree to do so and cancel her attempt. 3 days later I luckily able to hear the sound of my daughter. What a great feeling is it to a dad to hear his baby's sound first time from oversea? I lost my words to describe how does it mean. But I am very sure it means so much. 5 days after born, I could able to see my daughter's photo through email attachment. My niece help me to see my princess's photos. I was very glad to view these photos and immediately I share these photos with my friends as well as my wife's friends who are working in Singapore. I was almost crying while I view my daughter's photo first time. I don't know why I suddenly felt so sad. Probably it's usual for all emotional new father and mother.

I wanted to fly back to see my princess immediately if I can. But life is not that easy in real life especially for poor who can't do what they'ld like to in life. Some of my friends come out with suggestion to go back and see for a while. I welcomed their advices but I know about my situation better than they knew about me. This time I don't want to give them any reason for failing myself to present/ welcome my baby. Life goes itself and we try to adapt life to suit with what we have. At the end of the day, we may have to follow what should we do rather than what we would like to. We can't favour our desire every time because there are some things that we cannot overcome in life. We have to swallow our greediness, loving kindness, anger, hate, etc if we really want to make a successful family life.

What I want to get this time most is the forgiveness of my princess by the time she understand her father is not nearby when she was delivered. If there might be some bad suffering due to being apart between two or more persons, it's not only one side, both side would be affected. I will explain my daughter when she understand the meaning of words. I don't want her to waste her time in hating people by thinking useless past time. Hopefully my faith will favor me in trying to reunion my family soonest possible. At the moment, I bet ToTo to make my dream come true. Nothing else can help me with immediate effect. I hope you may also agree with me here.